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Do you ever ask yourself; What if?

Of course you do, we all do. But what does it really mean and why do we ask that?

 

I have been asking myself, What if? For 3 years now. Because now, it is 3 years since I moved from my home country Sweden over to England. 

 

I've had one foot still back in Sweden, unable to let go and move on. Mainly because of the question, What if?

I came back to England a few days ago after a 10 day visit to Sweden and that's when I realised, the question doesn't make any sense anymore. England is now my home in more ways then Sweden ever was and even if the What if? question was needed, Sweden would no longer be the answer to that question. 

 

I've been smiling with relief since I got back home, I felt for real for the first time in my life that I would never return. It doesn't scare me that I probably never will see that place again or the some of the people that live there, maybe even family. 

I will admit, I cried at the airport when my best friend dropped me off. I even gave her a hug, she looked at me with a arched brow and asked what I was doing but, I knew I was saying good bye. Maybe not to her, because we talk often and she comes over here to visit, but to the whole life we onced shared over in Sweden. I knew then and now, that it is too late to go back, there's nothing to go back to. 

 

Don't get me wrong, it is a nice feeling to finally let go, it makes it so much easier to move forward. 

So, ask yourself, what is your What if? question and does it still make sense? Or is it just something that prevents you from letting go and move of. 

 

I have a new What if? I don't think there's any way to get away from it, it comes in handy if needed. 

 

Elin